So about a year ago Kirsten read a book co-authored by Alyssa Bethke which she loved. Kir soon found out that Alyssa hosted a podcast with her husband, Jeff, that she began listening to. She brought me into the listening experience while on a road trip. It didn’t take long at all for me to be hooked. Now, one year later, we picked up the latest book from the Bethkes titled 31 Creative Ways to Love & Encourage Her/Him. There are two books in the set, one for the husband/boyfriend and one for the wife/girlfriend. Yesterday, we kicked off the 31 days with a few other goals in mind. So in case you haven’t read Kir’s first post on our new blog, check it out here! One, she can write so good! Two, she explains our goals (no TV watching included…) in more detail.
Day 1: Prayer
Initially I started this yesterday, but failed to really finish well with a last-minute trip to the beach and late dinner with family. So I am now stating that I officially started my 31 Creative Ways today. 😉
What I Did:
We started the conversation last night in the Jeep by me asking simply, “How can I pray for you, babe?” Kir is great at answering questions and actually carrying on a meaningful conversations – something I lack at times. She was able to share a few things that she has been praying about herself and writing down in her journal. We didn’t get to discuss them very long before we arrived at my brother’s house for a cookout. But this morning while Noah was down for his first nap I opened up my Day One app on my laptop and began to write out my prayer for Kirsten. One of the items for today was to write out a prayer for your wife. So this is exactly what I did. It took me around 20 minutes to finish the prayer. I prayed specifically for four things Kir had told me about:
Kir explained the reasons why she wanted prayer for these four things. I won’t go into detail here, but the way she explained them to me made so much sense and I was honestly honored to be able to pray for her. I wrote out my prayer for each thing in one single journal entry.
What I Learned:
I was actually reminded once again that slowing down to write (or type) out your prayers or thoughts actually helps you focus on the actual topic at hand. I could have easily gone into our room, closed the door and begun praying. I can assume I would have probably prayed for about 3-5 minutes and then come back out. I would have most likely been distracted by the fan spinning in the room or the laughter of Noah in the living room with Kir. I would most definitely have forgotten most of what I’d prayed. Yet sitting down and writing out my prayer for Kir made me more aware of what she had actually asked me to pray for. It kept my attention solely on God and her. When I was distracted by things around me I returned a minute or two later and picked up right where I left off.
The other lesson here for me was those four words she had mentioned: confidence, contentment, joy, and grace gave me insight into what she has going on each day right now. This is where my attention as a husband should be. Prayer is key for what she mentioned to me, but asking how to pray also lets me walk into her life in a much deeper way. I need to continue asking her how those things are going. How can I help? Want to go on a date night and talk about them? I believe prayer is where caring for your spouse should always start, but it should never be where it ends.
The Adventure Continues
So I have now written my first post here on our brand new family blog. This month will be heavily driven toward the 31 Creative Ways, but look out for some random posts and maybe even some vlogs coming your way soon.